


I'm a Loser Baby

by straydog733



Series: Zombies in Spaaaaaace [1]
Category: Wolf 359 (Radio), Zombies Run!
Genre: Crossover, Crossover Pairings, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-24
Updated: 2015-08-24
Packaged: 2018-04-17 02:55:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4649532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/straydog733/pseuds/straydog733
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack and Doug are the trashiest of boyfriends, until Doug messes it all up. As he is prone to do.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm a Loser Baby

Jack planted a kiss on the flat of Doug’s stomach and rested his chin on his belly, grinning up at him. He knew that they had to get up soon, that they shouldn’t spend the whole morning in bed, lounging in the afterglow. But it did feel really nice.

Doug ran a hand through his hair, ruffling it into sweaty spikes. “As much as that was a hell of a way to wake up, I’m still gonna make some coffee. Come on, let me up.”

Jack rolled off of his legs and watched him weave his way around the piles of laundry on the floor to get out of the bedroom. It was nice to have someone he didn’t need to clean up in order to impress, even if he did have to admit the place was looking a bit worse for the wear. At least Doug’s place would always be worse, a true pig sty. If they ever got a place together, they would have to resolve to be better about it. 

Not that Jack was thinking about that. Not at all. He had learned from the last boyfriend. He pulled on a t-shirt and shorts and wandered out of the room.

Doug had at least grabbed some boxers when Jack found him in the kitchen, staring down the coffeemaker. It was very tempting to wrap his arms around him from behind, follow that line of dark hair down his stomach under his waistband. But Jack had something else he needed to ask.

“Hey Doug, I was wondering-“

“Ah, first thing, doll, have you seen my ashtray? Still waking up, you know.”

Jack passed over the saucer with a partial join and a half-finished cigarette balancing on opposite edges. Doug’s hand hovered over one, then the other, before he resolved to grab both. Jack could distantly realize that he had to be pretty smitten to find it endearing when he tried to light and smoke both at the same time. Two burned fingers and a long exhale later, he flashed Jack a grin. “Okay, darling, what did you want to ask?”

“My sister is going to come over for dinner at my mum’s Sunday after next. I was wondering if you wanted to come along.” He tried not to hold his breath and just lean casually against the counter. This was a reasonable step, after six months, and ten days was plenty of warning. And while he knew Jill didn’t like Doug, his mum would come around, right? If he made him clean up a bit and shave. Maybe buy a new shirt and get a haircut.

Doug set down his two smokes and sidled up to him, resting his hands on the counter on either side of Jack. He leaned in to press a kiss just under Jack’s jaw, and he arched up into the touch. “I’m real sorry, sweet cheeks, but my flight leaves that morning,” he murmured, voice all soft and warm, even with the flat edge of his accent. “Could we do this Sunday instead? Give me a nice tour of your old bedroom, maybe?”

“I mean, I’ll see if my sister can- ah-“ He blamed Doug’s tongue running along the edge of his ear for why it took his brain so long to catch up. He pulled back sharply and looked at him. “Wait, what flight?”

The syrupy smile melted off of Doug’s face before his eyes. “You know, my one to- ah crap, did I forget to- that was like a week ago, I must have told you by now?”

“Tell me what?”

“Iiiiii mean, it’s been really busy lately and we’ve been having such a great time and-“

“Tell me _what_ , Doug?”

He stepped back and rubbed the back of his neck, looking anywhere but in Jack’s eyes. The coffee chose that moment to boil, and Doug busied himself with gathering up sugar and whipped cream (the can was still on the floor from the previous night).

“So you know how I work for a bunch of totalitarian flyboys who wouldn’t get a joke if it bit ‘em in the epaulettes? And how I, on occasion, have a bit of a tendency to a bit more talkative than I absolutely need to be?”

“Yeah, no surprise there, mate.” Jack had certainly heard his fair share of the rants about the higher ups at the strange combined American and British air force project…thing.

“So I maaaaay have had a bit of a run in with a superior officer. Who made the suggestion that maybe my fortunes lie outside the military. And it may have been strongly suggested that I head west, young man.”

“And all that means…”

“…Yeah, I got fired, discharged, and may get deported soon. If anyone in a uniform knocks on the door, don’t answer. But hey, hey, Jack, come back, this is a good thing! I don’t have to work for the next week, we can spend all our remaining time together!”

Jack brushed past him into the living room. He could feel his face turning red, but damned if he was going to cry. Doug caught his arm.

“Hey, no, Jack, it’ll be fine. We can have a great time, hit up a rave or two. Then you can visit me in Brooklyn and see what actual pizza tastes like. We’ll do the tourist thing here now, and in the States later, my treat. I’ve never seen Buckingham, and you wanna visit the Statue of Liberty, right? It’ll be great, you’ll see.”

“Were you ever going to tell me, or just take your stuff and leave in a week and a half?”

“No, no, I wouldn’t- I mean, I just have a really bad memory, and- and who wants to ruin a good morning with bad news and- hey, Jackie, baby, don’t do this, please, let’s talk.”

Jack kept grabbing things out of piles and off shelves: clothes that Doug had left behind on various mornings, the plastic dinosaur with the bow around its neck he had given Jack for their two month anniversary. He went back into the kitchen to grab the stupid “Million Miles High Club” Space Program coffee mug out of the cupboard. “Take your stupid stuff and get out.”

“Hey, babe, let’s not mess up the little time we have left with arguing. Sit down, take a second, I’ll make you some coffee. Mocha, your favorite, with whipped cream and everything, huh?”

Jack swore he wanted to slap that try-hard smile off his face. He settled for shoving the armload of clothes and gifts at his bare chest. “Have a safe flight back.”

Doug scrambled to catch everything and finally seemed to catch some of the anger in Jack’s face. He knew the red could look a little disarming, even if the freckles undercut the impact a bit. Doug raised his hands and started edging for the door. “You know, I’m going to give you some time and let you cool down. No need for anyone to boil any bunnies over this. Yeah, I basically screwed the pooch on this, I know that. I’ll give you some time, call tomorrow when you’ve had a chance to think and-“

“Get out now.”

“Okay, okay, sure, let me get some clothes and shoes on and-“

“Now.”

“Hey, come on, your neighbor’s that weird old lady who- fine, fine, I’m going!”

Jack waited until the latch clicked into place, then threw himself down on the couch. He had known it wasn’t going to last forever, that Doug got have gotten transferred or deployed somewhere else at any time. But at least a little notice or consideration or basic decency-

Oh, Jill was going to have a field day with this one. He dropped his head into his hands and groaned. 

On top of everything, his couch was going to smell like cigarettes for months.

-/-

“And that, dear listeners, is the only time I have ever dated a military man.”

“I don’t know, Jack, this guy doesn’t exactly sound like G.I. Joe. Sure he wasn’t just dressed like a soldier when you met him? Trying to pick up guys who like a man in uniform?”

“Nah, he never really looked cool. The runners here are a million times more badass than this guy was, even in running shorts and sports bras. Though you know, Gene, you should count yourself lucky.”

“Should I now?”

“He almost turned me entirely off of North Americans. I was taking a real risk on you.”

“Yes, I can see how the Canadian food writer and the American soldier have a ton in common. Aside from our lousy taste in men.”

“Ouch, straight through the heart. Though I do have to hand it to him, I learned a lot about radios and sound systems when we were together. Without him, Radio Abel may not exist as it does today.”

“Alright then, fair enough. If you’re out there listening, Doug-“

“Eiffel.”

“Seriously? Like- like the tower?”

“Oh yeah, he made the joke plenty of times.”

“Oh, yuck. Well, Doug Eiffel, if you’re still out there somewhere, this one’s for you.”

-/-

“Loser” by Beck


End file.
